John Iduh Blog

 Especially when someone you ever talk with, and often socialize with was gone Especially when the hands of time was hard to turn back But your neck remains on your neck. It hurts when profound change comes knocking It hurts. And indeed it hurts.

 There is one thing I know that brings pain. I mean the painful pain Not the pains when you got wounded Not the pains when someone disappoints you The pains when someone you ever with, chat, discuss and share words with is gone. I mean the pain that emerges from cuts from socializing with that person It pains when someone you ever love was gone It pains when someone you ever live with or see everyday, now and often travel or walk off and left you. The pain is painful. But no one has an eye to see the colours of pain.

Wives worry and fear that they might lose their husband to other women Husbands experience heart-broken that their wives were cheating  This fear engulf many across geographies.  What should a wife or husband do instead? The fact is that cheating is universalistic. If your husband was able to love you, what made you think that he cannot love another woman possibly? While I don't support or subscribe to the behaviour as it's against the societal moral standards, just like fornication, cheating will continue to exist. No amount of prayer, laws and regulations can totally eliminate the fornication habit that leads to cheating Because the eyes is capable of beholding, of appreciating and of loving what it admires. If we fornicate to buy a well package mobile phone, cars, clothes and beautiful homes. If the eyes must behold to admire. If we can love beautiful things. What make you think that your husband or a wife cannot do otherwise? One solution is to advise, educate and persuade...

 Here is a message from a local bank: H ave you been busy all week long and can't visit any of our branches?   Don’t worry, come in this Saturday from  10 am – 1 pm   and get a  debit card  while you deposit your old currency notes; there will be no charges for cash returned/paid into your accounts.   Marketing is not what you have made.    Marketing is neither advertisement of putting responsibility on people to buy Marketing is about how you matter to your customers  

 If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a current event, the past or future experiences, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system. Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done and worry about what might be done.  Guilt means that you use up your present moments being immobilized as a result of past behavior, while worry is the contrivance that keeps you immobilized in the now about something in the future—frequently something over which you have no control.  You can see this clearly if you try to think of yourself as feeling guilty about an event that has yet to occur, or to worry about something that has happened.  Although one response is to the future and the other to the past, they both serve the identical purpose of keeping you upset or immobile in your present moment.  Robert Jones Burdette wrote in Golden Day:  It isn’t the experience of today that drives ...

 Think for a minute about an orange. When you squeeze it as hard as you can, what comes out? Orange juice, of course.  But the question is, why does juice come out when an orange is squeezed?  The answer is, because that is what’s in the orange.  Now, does it matter who does the squeezing?  Does it matter how you do it, what instrument you use, or what time of the day you do it?  No.  When you squeeze an orange, what always comes out is what’s inside.  Similarly, when you squeeze a person—that is, put pressure on them of any kind—and anger and hatred and stress and depression come out, it isn’t because of who is doing the squeezing or when they do it or how they choose to do it.  It’s because that is what’s inside that person. If you don’t have it inside, it can never come out, no matter what your circumstances are.  When somebody cuts you off on the freeway and you’re mad as hell, it isn’t because they cut you off that you’re so upset; ...

 Guilt is not merely a concern with the past; it is a present-moment immobilization about a past event. And the degree of immobilization can run from mild upset to severe depression.  If you are simply learning from your past, and vowing to avoid the repetition of some specific behavior, this is not guilt. You experience guilt only when you are prevented from taking action now as a result of having behaved in a certain way previously. Learning from your mistakes is healthy and a necessary part of growth.  Guilt is unhealthy because you are ineffectively using up your energy in the present feeling hurt, upset and depressed about a historical happening. And it’s futile as well as unhealthy.  No amount of guilt can ever undo anything.

 You may be spending far too many of your present moments in efforts to win the approval of others, or in being concerned with some disapproval that you have encountered. If approval has become a need in your life, then you have some work to do.  You can begin by understanding that approval-seeking is a desire rather than a necessity. We all enjoy applause, compliments and praise. It feels good when we are mentally stroked. Who would want to give this up?  Well, there’s no need to. Approval in itself is not unhealthy; in fact, adulation is deliciously pleasurable. Approval-seeking is an erroneous zone only when it becomes a need rather than a want. If you want the approval, you are simply happy to have the endorsement of other people. But, if you need it, you are going to collapse if you don’t get it.  That’s when the self-destructive forces move in. Similarly, when approval-seeking becomes a need, you give up a chunk of yourself to the “outside person” whose advoca...

 The need for approval is based on a single assumption. “Don’t trust yourself—check it out with someone else first.” Our culture is one that reinforces approval-seeking behavior as a standard of life.  Independent thinking is not only unconventional, it is the enemy of the very institutions that constitute the bulwark of our society.  If you’ve grown up in this society, you’ve been tainted by this attribute. “Don’t swear by yourself” is the essence of the need for tribute —and the backbone of our culture.  Make someone else’s opinion more important than your own, then if you don’t get their approval, you have every reason to feel depressed, unworthy, or guilty, since they are more important than you.  The bestowal of approval can be a great manipulator. Your worth is lodged in others and if they refuse to dole out their approval, you’ve got nothing. You are without worth.  And so it goes, the more flattery you need, the more you can be manipulated by others...

 You can also choose to eliminate some physical sufferings which are not rooted in a known organic dysfunction. Some common physical ailments, which often do not have an origin in a physiological disorder, include headaches, backaches, ulcers, hypertension, rashes, skin eruptions, cramps, fleeting pains and the like. There was someone who swore she had a headache every morning for the past four years. Each morning at 6:45 she waited for it to arrive and then took her pain pills. She also kept each of her friends and co-workers informed of how much she was suffering. She wanted the headaches, and had actually chosen them as a means of being noticed and as a means of receiving sympathy and pity. The fact is that she could learn not to want this for herself and to practice making the headache shift from a point located centrally on her forehead to one on the side of her head.  How could she eliminate that. She learnt that she could controlled the headache by making it move around...

 If you still believe that you don’t choose to be unhappy, try to imagine this course of events. Each time you become unhappy you are subjected to some treatment you find unpleasant.  Perhaps you are locked in a room alone for long periods of time or, conversely, forced into a crowded elevator where you must stand for days.  You may be deprived of all food or forced to eat some dish you find particularly distasteful. Or perhaps you will be tortured—physically tortured by others, rather than mentally tortured by yourself.  Imagine that you were subjected to any one of these punishments until you made your unhappy feelings go away. How long do you think you would continue to hold on to them? Chances are you would take control rather quickly. So the issue is not whether you can take control of your feelings, but whether you will. What must you endure before you’ll make such a choice?  Some people choose to go insane rather than take control. Others merely give up a...

 You have grown up in a culture which has taught you that you are not responsible for your feelings even though the syllogistic truth is that you always were.  You’ve learned a host of sayings to defend yourself against the fact that you do control your feelings. Here is a brief list of such utterances that you have used over and over. Examine the message they send. “You hurt my feelings.” “You make me feel bad.” “I can’t help the way I feel.” “I just feel angry, don’t ask me to explain it.”\ “He makes me sick.” “Heights scare me.” “You’re embarrassing me.” “She really turns me on.” “You made a fool of me in public.” The list is potentially endless. Each saying has a built-in message that you are not responsible for how you feel.  Now rewrite the list so it is accurate, so it reflects the fact that you are in charge of how you feel and that your feelings come from the thoughts you have about anything.  “I hurt my feelings because of the things I told myself about you...

 Infinite riches are all around you if you will open your mental eyes and behold the treasure house of infinity within you.  There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly.  Many are sound asleep because they do not know about this gold mine of infinite intelligence and boundless love within themselves.  Whatever you want, you can draw forth. A magnetized piece of steel will lift about twelve times its own weight, and if you demagnetize this same piece of steel, it will not even lift a feather.  Similarly, there are two types of men.  There is the magnetized man who is full of confidence and faith. He knows that he is born to win and to succeed.  Then, there is the type of man who is demagnetized. He is full of fears and doubts. Opportunities come, and he says, “I might fail; I might lose my money; people will laugh at me.”  This type of man will not get very far in ...